Looking at the pictures of my last post, I sigh, “those were the days.” The days of canoe trips, jumping off the dock, rockin’ the “Veen Scene” and having the run of a 330 acres of Quebec wilderness. At the time those moments seemed overwhelming but looking back they feel like a walk in the park. Summer Camp has started and this is a completely different animal.
We just made it through our first week of Camp and it was an eventful and crazy week. Though our numbers were low, it felt like there were people everywhere. Those feelings started the week prior when we had our staff arrive. Our peaceful space was intruded with 11 teenagers, most arriving with their prom makeup still on (not literally). The kids were 7-9 years old and were full of clingy energy. There was no shortage of people asking questions, looking for help, direction, ideas, and solutions. I miss the days of three people on site. Those were the days.
In these last two weeks I have also come to realize that I’m old. It’s been a while since I’ve spent significant time with 16-18 year olds and let me just say, I am out of it. I don’t know half the people they’re talking about never mind deciphering what they are even talking about with their lingo and short forms. They were talking about one celebrity and said, “she’s almost thirty!” as if she was absolutely ancient. It dawned on me that I am closer to thirty than twenty! This was emphasized again, when I was driving a whole van full of “kids” to town for ice-cream and their screams to drive faster, and to turn up the music made me want to stop the car and tell them to walk. I felt very old and wondered, “was I that obnoxious?” I miss the peaceful drives into town with my man alone and undivided. Oh those were the days.
This past week was a tough one and this coming week is probably going to be even tougher, but today I had a moment to go and be by myself at the labyrinth, a spiritual meditation walk that we have at Camp. I was asking God a lot of questions about why I was here, what my role was and how I’m going to get through the rest of the summer. I was comforted by God’s peace and was told “this is not the end of the story. There is still more to come.” This came as such a huge relief. If this was it, it would be a tough pill to swallow, but there’s more of the story still to come. If I continue to wish for the past or even more relevantly, the future, I wont experience the present. An adventure is a journey with an unknown ending. I’m on an adventure and it’s not always a comfortable one, but it’s not over yet. I don’t know what that means and I still don’t know how I’m going to make it through, but it’s not over yet. One foot infront of the other, one day at a time.